![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
In reality and in the metaphorical sense. My younger brother moved out of our parents' house recently and went all the way to Washington. Everyone, including my best friend, has been all weepy about it, but me? I don't really feel...anything. I don't miss him, even though I would consider us close. Worst of all, I'm a little bitter about the whole thing, and not for the right reasons.
I moved out almost three years ago, seven minutes away from my parents' house. My brother moved out last week, 5 hours away from our town. Do you know how bad that makes me look?
I know that I'm being irrational and a total jerk about the whole thing. I should be happy for him and proud of his accomplishments, or at least try to hide the fact that I'm not, but I pride myself in being honest. When my parents, friends, and therapist have asked me how I've dealt with this 'trying time', I've admitted that I really don't feel any different and that I actually hope he doesn't do well on his own and has to move back home. Does saying this aloud just make me an honest, up-front person who doesn't shy away from her feelings, or a total bitch?
I think most people really do think about themselves first and foremost, it's just not polite or politically correct to admit it. Why is it okay for us to talk about how fat and ugly and stupid we are, but if we praise ourselves, we're considered conceited and self-centered? If we're not happy about something that isn't supposed to even make us happy, why do we have to pretend otherwise? White lies are good. If you receive the ugliest god-awful sweater from a well-meaning friend, you pretend you love it. There's no harm in that. But when something happens in your life that genuinely displeases you and everyone else around you is overreacting, why should you bottle up your true emotions? Especially to friends and family, who you are supposed to be yourself with?
Sometimes my leap from people-pleaser to blunt babe is too much for even me to handle. I gotta brush away that little voice that keeps screaming 'APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT YOU JUST SAID! JUST NOD YOUR HEAD!'
Or maybe I should listen to it more often.
I moved out almost three years ago, seven minutes away from my parents' house. My brother moved out last week, 5 hours away from our town. Do you know how bad that makes me look?
I know that I'm being irrational and a total jerk about the whole thing. I should be happy for him and proud of his accomplishments, or at least try to hide the fact that I'm not, but I pride myself in being honest. When my parents, friends, and therapist have asked me how I've dealt with this 'trying time', I've admitted that I really don't feel any different and that I actually hope he doesn't do well on his own and has to move back home. Does saying this aloud just make me an honest, up-front person who doesn't shy away from her feelings, or a total bitch?
I think most people really do think about themselves first and foremost, it's just not polite or politically correct to admit it. Why is it okay for us to talk about how fat and ugly and stupid we are, but if we praise ourselves, we're considered conceited and self-centered? If we're not happy about something that isn't supposed to even make us happy, why do we have to pretend otherwise? White lies are good. If you receive the ugliest god-awful sweater from a well-meaning friend, you pretend you love it. There's no harm in that. But when something happens in your life that genuinely displeases you and everyone else around you is overreacting, why should you bottle up your true emotions? Especially to friends and family, who you are supposed to be yourself with?
Sometimes my leap from people-pleaser to blunt babe is too much for even me to handle. I gotta brush away that little voice that keeps screaming 'APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT YOU JUST SAID! JUST NOD YOUR HEAD!'
Or maybe I should listen to it more often.
